Phipps Ahoy

My name is Ryan, I'm a 15 year old gamer from Alaska who runs a (mostly) humor blog.



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whitepeoplestealingculture:

White people asking questions about my turban. (Pt.1)

1 hour ago on September 1st, 2014 | J | 24,636 notes
confessionsofadirectioner:

This will always be one of my favourite posts.

confessionsofadirectioner:

This will always be one of my favourite posts.

2 hours ago on September 1st, 2014 | J | 212,021 notes
tylerthelatteboy:

1d-r5-edsheeran-more:

maybewewillbecloser:

searching-for-nirvana:

I am sitting at my computer screen with my mouth open, because I just cannot fathom how someone writes something this amazing.

that’s a very accurate definition of red. 

did ed sheeran write that

can we talk about how something i wrote in 3 minutes has 623,000+ notes? the response to this and how it has changed my life still blows my mind.

tylerthelatteboy:

1d-r5-edsheeran-more:

maybewewillbecloser:

searching-for-nirvana:

I am sitting at my computer screen with my mouth open, because I just cannot fathom how someone writes something this amazing.

that’s a very accurate definition of red. 

did ed sheeran write that

can we talk about how something i wrote in 3 minutes has 623,000+ notes? the response to this and how it has changed my life still blows my mind.

2 hours ago on September 1st, 2014 | J | 657,343 notes
Parent: what does a cow say?
Baby: "moo!"
Parent: yes! And what does a sheep say?
Baby: "baah!"
Parent: yay! And what does a pig say?
Baby: *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"
2 hours ago on September 1st, 2014 | J | 129,198 notes

horror movie opening scene

white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
12 hours ago on September 1st, 2014 | J | 122,309 notes

sasuge:

hokagee:

hi im sasuke uchiha and you’re watching disney channel

image

6 days ago on August 26th, 2014 | J | 9,922 notes

bakaa-usagii:

as-seen-on-disney:

elphabaoftheopera:

I feel like the Mormons should work at Monsters Inc. but instead of scaring people they just try to convert them. 

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I just showed this to my Mormon friend who’s about to leave on her mission and she’s crying from laughing so hard.

Mormon’s Inc.

6 days ago on August 26th, 2014 | J | 92,644 notes
plays

6 days ago on August 26th, 2014 | J | 12,283 notes

floateron:

frozenfontana:

iaintnopapaya:

Disney Princesses as sloths.

but why

why not

6 days ago on August 26th, 2014 | J | 165,366 notes

nicklugo:

Spanish is a beautiful language. You don’t say “I love you” in Spanish, you say “yo quiero comer culo” which translates to “you are the light of my life” which I think is one of the most beautiful things to say to someone

6 days ago on August 26th, 2014 | J | 90,421 notes